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The Other Side Of Dreaming

By Tanya Ortiz

MON MAY 18, 2020

Life is a journey. No matter how rich or poor, how elaborate or mediocre you think your life may be, it is my belief that at some point we all reach a a moment in our maturity where we stop and think “is this it?”, or “what more could there be?”, or even “how can I be wanting more when I have all I thought I wanted?”. This moment is an intersection in our lives, where we have the choice to do the deep, reflective, creative and exploratory work with ourselves and the world we live in or we just fall back into the wave of the comfort. I might even venture out to say that if you are reading this, there is a good chance that COVID-19 has you asking one or all of these questions over the last few months.

It’s been a long road home. And even though I feel I’ve finally found my way back to myself, I am by no means at the end of the journey. There was a point in my life when that very thought would terrify me; how can I work so hard towards something and still be in route? But over the course of the last year, I have learned what it means to be on the journey, to be apart of your life, and really start to do the work to feel alive.

There is one teaching from my years of practicing yoga that I have learned to hold nearest to my heart, and that is always be willing to be a student. This website, these writings and offerings are my contribution to the world. It is a sharing of my experience in this wild and unknown adventure called life. And I don’t consider myself an expert on any one thing and I certainly don’t have it all figured out. I have so many experiences that I feel may serve as useful tools to others, and I think deep down I have always known that it would be in me to share. It’s something I have known for awhile, especially since yoga has been apart of my life. But over the last 2 years I’ve felt like I had to find a niche. Somewhere to fit in to find people who will love, support and connect with me. I felt like if I wanted to share yoga with the world, then I had to fit into an interpretation of the embodiment of content I ingested about teaching yoga via the internet and social media…for example, one being the popular Don’t hustle, rest more (not that I am against taking time to slow down. I’ve found so much in the shifts the pandemic has brought. So to be clear, I can slow down AND I can enjoy it too); Working too hard at anything isn’t a badge of honor; another was I thought I had to choose a love of fitness or a love of yoga because of the preconceived habit to push one’s limits too far. And it really had me on quite the identity crisis.

It’s funny how sometimes when we are so close to something, we lose sight of what it truly is. I didn’t learn any of the above mentioned in my yoga teacher training. I didn’t feel out of place as being myself when I decided to travel out of state and practice at a studio my intuition told me was home with no one that I knew. What I learned was quite the opposite actually; I learned about love, kindness, compassion, growth & development, respect, community, self forgiveness, and so many other beautiful concepts that I hope to project out and embody with you. I learned what it means to be of service in this world and even more so that the world doesn’t have to be This or That. My teacher always quotes Swami Satchidinanda and says “We were born fine, and then we grew and started to define, and now our work is to refine”. So it’s been my own self evolution to let go of those definitions because truthfully, I don’t even think they were mine to begin with. They may be great ideals and guides for some, and that is ok, just not for me. And I had to experience all of this to realize it.

I would love to give you my whole story and set the backdrop in the words that come to follow but, I’ll first say here that I recognize I may not be for everyone. And that is okay. I want you to give yourself full permission to only spend your energy on people and things that really contribute to your growth. I respect that in you, because I also respect that in me. And although I hope to have something to contribute to many, I feel like I will be ever grateful if I am able to contribute to even one.

So welcome to Yoga Sol, re-uniting with your inner and true light that is radiant like the sun. I am grateful beyond words for your time and energy to allow me the opportunity to hold space for you in any capacity, even if it’s sending you a warm smile and light thoughts. But I’ll leave you with this.. the picture above I am calling Goddess Rising With the Shadow And Into The Light. If you have ever practiced with me in person then it is likely that you know I have always hated the pose, never been a fan. We hear often that it is the pose we avoid the most that we need the most, and this work I would say is damn good evidence of that.